By JOHN SIDDLE
The name's Bland, James Bland.
007 returns to action for the 22nd time, but his biggest nemesis this time is the narrative.
Quantum of Solace, effectively a sequel to 2006's smash hit, Casino Royale, is full of perspiration and production with some stunning passages of breathtaking action.
But the essence of what has made Bond, a franchise nearly 50 years strong, has been ruthlessly culled; the charm, the quips, the romance, and the trademark double-entendres.
The shortest Bond ever, at considerably under two hours, opens with a pulsating 15-minute chase in the valleys of Lake Garda and on the rooftops of Siena.
MI6 has discovered, by chance - and rather absurdly - it is on the tail of an international terrorist organisation it knows absolutely zilch about.
Via a series of clues, Bond (Daniel Craig) arrives in Haiti where he meets Camille (Olga Kurylenko) who inadvertently leads him to her more off-than-on lover, Dominic Greene.
Greene - who bears an uncanny resemblance to Jools Holland (not what you want from a Bond villain) is in talks with overthrown Bolivian dictator General Medrano to fund his military coup in exchange for a slice of prime desert.
Jools' plan, it emerges, is to covertly take control of the country's water supply, and to charge double the amount.
A dastardly plan for a utilities provider, perhaps, but not the threat of narcissistic tyranny a Bond baddie usually aspires to.
The relentless action sequences - which include a high-altitude plane chase and a rope and pulley punch-up - and are so out-of-this-world that cynics' observations that James Bond is more Jason Bourne are more than validated.
It seems that James is just too exhausted to deliver his trademark wit. There's not even time for a martini - he necks a Gordons Gin in what must have been costly product placement.
And when Bond fails to seduce Camille then you know for sure 007 has lost his way.
Rating: 002 out of 005.
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